Paradise Pocker
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Two Days after this Adventure, the Emperor having ordered that part of his Army which quarters in and about his Metropolis to be in a readiness, took a fancy of diverting himself in a very singular manner. He desired I would paradise pocker stand like a Colossus, with my Legs as far asunder as I conveniently could. He then commanded his General (who was an old experienced Leader, and a great Patron of mine) to draw up the Troops in close Order, and march them under me, the Foot by Twenty-four in a Breast, and the Horse by Sixteen, with Drums beating, Colours flying, and Pikes advanced. This Body consisted of three thousand Foot, and a thousand Horse. His Majesty gave Orders, upon pain of Death, that every Soldier in his March should observe the strictest Decency with regard to my Person; which, however, could not prevent some of the younger Officers from turning up their Eyes as they passed under me. And, to confess the Truth, my Breeches were at that time in so ill a Condition, that they afforded some Opportunities for Laughter and Admiration.
I had sent so many Memorials and Petitions for my Liberty, that his Majesty at length mentioned the Matter, first in the Cabinet, and then in a full Council ; where it was opposed by none, except Skyresh Bolgolam, who was pleased, without any Provocation, to be my mortal Enemy. But it was carried against him by the whole Board, and confirmed by the Emperor. That Minister was Galbet, or Admiral of the Realm, very much in his Master's confidence, and a Person well versed in Affairs, but of a morose and sour Complection. However, he was at length persuaded to comply; but prevailed that the Articles and Conditions upon which I should be set free, and to which I must swear, should be drawn up by himself. These Articles were brought to me by Skyresh Bolgolam in Person, attended by two Under-Secretarys, and several Persons of Distinction. After they were read, I was demanded to swear to the Performance of them; first in the manner of my own Country, and afterwards in the method prescribed by their Laws; which was to hold my right Foot in my left Hand, to place the middle Finger of my right Hand on the Crown of my Head, and my Thumb on the Tip of my right Ear. But because the Reader may perhaps be curious to have some Idea of the Style and Manner of Expression peculiar to that People, as well as to know the Articles upon which I recovered my Liberty, I have made a Translation of the whole Instrument word for word, as near as I was able, which I here offer to the Publick.
GOLBASTO MOMAREN EVLAME GURDILO SHEFIN MULLY ULLY GUE, most Mighty Emperor of Lilliput, Delight and Terror of the Universe, whose Dominions extend five thousand Blustrugs (about twelve miles in circumference) to the Extremitys of the Globe; Monarch of all Monarchs, taller than the Sons of Men; whose Feet press down to the Center, and whose Head strikes against the Sun: At whose Nod the Princes of the Earth shake their Knees; pleasant as the Spring, comfortable as the Summer, fruitful as Autumn, dreadful as Winter. His most sublime Majesty proposeth to the Man-Mountain, lately arrived to our Celestial Dominions, the following Articles, which by a solemn Oath he shall be obliged to perform.
First, The Man-Mountain shall not depart from our Dominions, without our License under our Great Seal.
2nd, He shall not presume to come into our Metropolis, paradise pocker without our express Order; at which time the Inhabitants shall have two hours warning to keep within their Doors.
3rd, The said Man-Mountain shall confine his Walks to our principal High Roads, and not offer to walk or lie down in a Meadow or Field of Corn.
4th, As he walks the said Roads, he shall take the utmost care not to trample upon the Bodies of any of our loving Subjects, their Horses, or Carriages, nor take any of our said Subjects into his Hands, without their own Consent.
5th, If an Express requires extraordinary Dispatch, the Man-Mountain shall be obliged to carry in his Pocket the Messenger and Horse a Six Days Journey once in every Moon, and return the said Messenger back (if so required) paradise pocker safe to our Imperial Presence.
6th, He shall be our Ally against our enemies in the Island of Blefuscu, and do his utmost to destroy their Fleet, which is now preparing to invade Us.
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